Firethorn's Den

Bullet Musings Bullet


12/12/02
I can't help it but every time I'm alone, I imagine myself surrounded by people. I don't know why, I hate people, and that's why I'm sitting here all alone in the first place. Then the world imagined up by me consists of two halves, one is full of people who agree with me, and the other is full of those who do not. If I decide to let go the bad half, I'll end up with only half of the world which I'd look stupid if I were to remain in there. So now I wonder if those who disagree with me all the time know the only reason keeping them alive in my world is because I'm too vain to look stupid.

11/02/02
What has not killed me has made me whimpering like a newborn babe. Ugh!

10/08/02
Water from the shower head pulls like the allegory of your touch. My skin, a palette for all choreographed metaphors, glistens with renewed life. My blood sings as if being fused with unholy whispers; I imagine outside the walls, the whole world is being lapped up by St. John Eve's fire.

9/24/02
sunset on the roll:shadows lengthen over the:exhausted grass blades

8/14/02
I have not been feeling like myself lately. Actually it's an understatement, I should have said I have been feeling so like myself not feeling like myself. Confusing, huh? Hey, it's an enigmatic world, especially the one I'm occupying. Get used to it. I don't feel depressed, I just feel blah, then I go about doing my usual stuff like the blah didn't get to me at all. Yup, that's me feeling like myself, not myself really. Man, am I confused...!

7/01/02
I wonder if you know you are now trapped under my skin with all exits hidden. The only way for you to escape is to cut me open from inside out until I break.

6/03/02
I see you in every sketch I draw; hair askew from autumn winds, eyes behind dark glasses always for you abhor the way the sun stabs its blinding light in your eyes. Poor you! Don't you know it attacks only when its poetic heart is being threatened?

5/28/02
Can't wait to find out more about his uncensored grace. Let's hope he won't attempt to tamper down my wanting to spiral in the midst of the sky I carved out of his.

4/15/02
I am trying to learn your language, the secret script spoken only in tongues of lovers, of one I hope to be...

3/24/02
You stride into my dreams, a phantom of illusive whispers that leaves a ghost flavor of ecstasy on my tongue, a false hope for me to hold on to. But dreams are like tomorrow; they never ever come to me. Thus, I awake to my subdued reality, holding the mirage firmly in my mouth (I love you too much to let go.)

2/25/02
It's all my fault. I have created you to be a sun, too stark and bright to be looked at directly; worse yet, your fiery temperament prevents anyone, least of all me, to venture close. Your adornment in filigree of polished silver and gold I etched upon you makes you a demigod that at some point I realized I should want you as a god only...

1/28/02
For you have always asked where my tears go, I will tell you. Each time I feel sad, my hand grows a pen, and on paper I write my tears away. They flow into a churning ocean, curling and slick, right in front of me. Don't you hear it? The haunting sound of weeping tides calling out to you to fill the void, to breathe life back into me, so that wave after wave of your essence shall calm my ocean.

 

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